Losing You

Three days ago I lost something that means so much to me. It was a gift from someone I care about very much and it just fell off my stupid skinny wrist and its now languishing somewhere in one of the largest countries in the world.

I was devastated and the loss took me a couple of days to get over. It’s not that it’s the most irreplaceable item in the world. It just meant so much to me because I am 10,000 miles away from the person who gave it to me but every time I looked at it I remembered them and felt closer to them. And now that it’s gone I feel every one of those 10,000 miles.

I hate losing things, but yet it keeps happening to me. I hate losing things because I have lost lots of people and holding on to things that reminds you of them feels like something I can control whereas holding on to people is not. I wear my mother’s bird pendant chain and ruby ring every day because it makes me feel her presence. But in the last 10 years I have lost or misplaced so many of her belongings that were all so important and everytime I lose something I feel a connection to her memory evaporating.

What is hilarious though, is that while I lose the items I have that are of deep emotional value to me, the ones that just have an ephemeral value stick around for an eternity, piling one upon each other forever. I’m studying luxury so I’m learning more and more about quality over quantity every day (which I will probably write more about soon in my Reflective Writing once I read the next book on my list) and I am beginning to think maybe there is some value in having fewer items that are of higher worth as opposed to loads and loads of crap. Losing something that really does mean something puts that all into perspective.

Anyway, the point is losing that item kind of shifted the focus of being far away for me and now I am so looking forward now to going to the States over Christmas and New Years to reconnect with those I love. It feels like its a shame to say considering I’m in Shanghai for a once in a lifetime experience, but what’s important is important.

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