So there are two empty trailer trucks parked on the side of the Diego Martin Highway and I was super excited to shoot in them. Why? I see these trucks as a metaphor for my current Carnival situation. For those who don’t know, the trailer truck is really the heart of contemporary Trinidad Carnival. As controversial as the number of trucks on the road during Carnival Monday and Tuesday is (they cause massive congestion in our narrow streets), the speaker boxes that they carry and the music that they pump is really what gives you the drive to walk, chip, wine, dance throughout the streets of Port of Spain every year and not wonder … what the hell am I really doing? These trucks ARE Carnival.

But these two lonely music trucks are so removed from the action currently. Don’t get me wrong. Dey READY. Their painted and primed up and all they need is to be hooked up to a truck, speakers’d up and banners’d out, and they ready to go. But they’re not there yet.

This is how I feel right now. I do feel deep down that Carnival is a huge part of me as I am of it, but as of today, Carnival Wednesday, I feel like it is happening without me. I am not ready. My costume is not complete (thought it WILL be). I’ve been to like a fete and a half for the season. And because of my current job I feel completely removed from the building hubbub of Carnival that continues around me.

All that ends tomorrow though…

Photography: Kyle Walcott

Tank: Express (old). Pants: River Island. Wedges: Qupid (similar here). Sunglasses: Nastygal. Lace Bra: Calzedonia.